Perimenopause, Anxiety & The Overwhelmed Mind

I’m approaching 50, and I’ve noticed something changing.

It hasn’t happened overnight. There hasn’t been one particular day when I’ve suddenly thought, Oh, I’m definitely in perimenopause. Instead, I’ve noticed little things quietly creeping in. My anxiety levels seem a little higher than they used to be, and my ability to multitask has definitely changed.

I used to be able to hold a conversation while doing something else, with the television on in the background, and barely think about it. Now, my brain seems to say, No. Pick one.

A friend and I were laughing about this recently because we’ve both noticed how difficult it can be to follow a recipe. We’ll read the next instruction, start doing it, realise we’ve forgotten what we were supposed to do and go back and read it again. Sometimes three or four times.

It’s funny when you’re laughing about it with a friend, but when you don’t understand why it’s happening, it can also be unsettling.

This is one of the things I think we need to talk about more when we talk about perimenopause.

It’s not just hot flushes

When we think about menopause, hot flushes and night sweats are often the first things that come to mind. But the menopause transition can affect far more than our periods and body temperature.

Hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause can coincide with changes in mood, sleep and cognitive function. Many women experience what is commonly described as "brain fog", including difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness and feeling more easily overwhelmed.

And when you add a busy life into the mix, it can feel as though your capacity has suddenly shrunk.

You’re still working, looking after children, managing a home, running a business, maintaining relationships and trying to remember everything that needs doing. But your internal processing system doesn’t seem to have quite the same tolerance for all that information coming at once.

That can be frustrating. It can also make you anxious.

You don’t have to believe every thought you have

This is something I talk about with many of my clients, whether they’re experiencing anxiety, panic attacks, overwhelm or simply a mind that won’t switch off.

Your brain is designed to detect potential threats, it doesn’t always wait until it has all the evidence.

If you feel something unusual in your body, your brain may immediately start trying to work out what it means. When you’re already tired, stressed, sleep-deprived or hormonally unsettled, that alarm system can feel particularly loud.

You notice a sensation and your brain starts looking for an explanation.

Something must be wrong.

Why can’t I cope like I used to?

What if this gets worse?

Before you know it, the physical sensation has become another thing to worry about.

This is why I don’t believe the answer is simply to tell yourself to stop worrying. You need to understand what your brain is doing and develop skills that allow you to respond differently when those thoughts arise.

A thought is not a fact, a sensation is not necessarily a threat, and an anxious thought doesn’t have to become a story.

When a physical symptom sends your brain into overdrive

I experienced this myself recently. I was in the shower when I suddenly felt dizzy, and my brain immediately jumped to, "Must be a brain tumour."

Fortunately, because I’ve spent so much time learning about perimenopause and understanding the changes my body is going through, my logical brain was able to step in: "Hang on. This can happen during perimenopause. It doesn’t automatically mean something terrible is wrong."

The dizziness passed, but it reminded me how quickly an unfamiliar physical sensation can trigger a worst-case scenario, particularly when anxiety is already heightened.

Hormonal changes during the menopause can affect the vestibular system, (the sensory system in your inner ear that controls your sense of balance, posture, and spatial orientation), although the relationship is still being researched. I would also encourage anyone with new or persistent symptoms to discuss them with your GP first.

The sensation itself may be brief, but the story your brain tells you about it can keep the alarm system switched on for much longer.

And then there’s sleep...

Sleep can become another part of the cycle.

You wake at 3am or 4am, wide awake, with your brain suddenly deciding that this is the perfect time to think about absolutely everything. You try to switch it off, but the harder you try, the more awake you seem to become.

Then morning comes and you’re exhausted. When your energy is depleted, everything can feel like more effort. You may find yourself reaching for high-sugar foods because you need something to keep you going, which can then leave you frustrated that you’re undoing all the effort you’ve been making to eat healthily.

You may also notice that your motivation to exercise has disappeared. When you’re exhausted, the thought of getting changed and doing a workout can feel like the last thing you want to do. Everything just feels like too much effort.

So the cycle continues.

Poor sleep leaves you tired and less resilient, you’re more easily overwhelmed, your anxiety can increase and your motivation can decrease, making it even harder to make the changes you’d like to make.

It’s very easy to get stuck in a cycle that feels difficult to break.

Start with your mind, then support your body

This is where my two areas of work come together.

Through Menopause Fit, I focus on helping women understand and support their bodies through perimenopause and menopause. Through my work as an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Emotional Resilience Specialist, I help women understand their thoughts, emotions and nervous system responses, and develop practical tools to feel calmer and more in control.

I believe in taking small, achievable and supportive steps rather than adding another long list of things you should be doing.

For me, it starts with the mind.

Learning how to quieten the mental noise, reduce anxiety, manage catastrophic thoughts and help your nervous system feel calmer and more settled. From there, you can begin to reconnect with your body and make changes that feel achievable rather than overwhelming.

The aim isn’t perfection. It’s about gradually increasing your ability to feel calmer, happier and more content within yourself, helping you sleep better, make choices around food that support your body and, when you’re ready, move in ways that feel good and give you energy rather than feeling like another thing you have to do.

You may have more agency than you think

Perimenopause can feel like a period when your body is doing things you didn’t ask it to do.

Your sleep changes, your concentration changes, your emotions may feel different, your anxiety may increase and your body can sometimes feel unfamiliar.

It can leave you feeling as though you’re no longer quite in control.

But there are things you can influence.

You can learn to understand what your body may be experiencing. You can learn to recognise the difference between a physical sensation and the frightening story your brain attaches to it. You can learn to quieten mental noise and develop ways of calming your nervous system. You can build a set of tools that help you feel more capable of navigating this stage of life.

I think of it a little like being on a ship in a storm.

You can’t always control the weather and you can’t make the waves disappear, but you can learn to keep a firm hold of the wheel, understand where you’re heading and navigate the storm without being completely thrown around by every wave.

That, to me, is emotional resilience.

And as I approach 50 myself, it’s something I’m increasingly interested in not only teaching, but practising.

Because perimenopause may change the landscape, but it doesn’t have to take away your sense of who you are, your confidence in yourself or your ability to cope.

How I can help

If you’re experiencing increased anxiety, panic, overwhelm, poor sleep, brain fog or a mind that simply won’t switch off, you don’t necessarily have to wait for things to become unbearable before asking for support.

My work combines Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapy with therapeutic approaches including EMDR, EFT and nervous system regulation, tailored to the individual and what they are experiencing.

The aim is to help you understand what’s happening, change the patterns that are keeping you stuck and develop practical ways to feel calmer, more confident and more in control.

I work with women in Sevenoaks, Kent and online, supporting women through anxiety, overwhelm, stress, sleep difficulties and the emotional challenges that can accompany perimenopause and menopause.

If you’d like to find out whether working with me could be the support you’ve been looking for, it starts with a conversation.

You’re very welcome to book a free, no-obligation consultation call. It’s simply a relaxed conversation about what you’ve been struggling with, how you’d like things to feel different and whether I feel I can help.